I am reasonably sure that many of you are going to think that this is going to be an amusing post. I have to try to make it amusing actually. Many years ago , someone had asked me that the body could function well with some of the body systems not working but which was the one system the malfunctioning of which could start a whole negative spiral which in turn could bring the functioning of the body to a halt. The answer was the excretory system. So, amusment apart, it requires serious introspection.

Some four five years back, my yoga teacher apprised me of a yogic kriya that I was unaware of. It is called laghu shankh prakshalan. He told me that just as a car required servicing twice a year, one was better off with internal cleansing twice a year- at the beginning of winter and summer season. He further stated what I had read in one of Dale Carnegie’s books years back “You get diseases not from what you eat but what is eating you”. The yoga teacher said that in today’s world it was psychosomatic;
could be both ways supplementing each other. Stress could be causing digestion problems and even vice-versa. Reminded me of the percussion instrument dholak which is banged from both sides. Though done through the excretory system, the basic objective is to clean the digestive system. It is also supposed to be very good for a glowing skin. Well as they say in management, one has to go southwards to go northwards

It was quite ardous when I did it for the first time four years back. On an empty stomach, I drank two glases of like warm water with four sets of stretching exercises(10 times each)which were supposed to have a direct effect on the stomach.. One was supposed to repeat this at least three times till one got the call of nature. After the nature’s call, one had to keep repeating this- drinking water, the exercises and the call of nature till the entire system was clean and in the words of the yoga teacher, the final objective was that while flushing the toilet, what was before and after should look the same- clear of all yellowness or whatever.

Now, the amusing part. The yoga teacher told me that for people whose passages were not blocked, the whole exercise could take about a hour to an hour and fifteen minutes at the most. . However this year when I did it, it took almost two hours. This was perhaps the shit’s way of getting back at me. Everyday while playing Tennis, I would say “shit” if my shot was blocked at the net or went out. The shit had perhaps decided to teach me a lesson and took its own sweet time to clear my system. It was perhaps fitting that my shitting was getting back at my hitting(the shots). The half an hour was so tortous that I was thinking of all kinds of things to keep me going- shahrukh and Saif ali Khan’s jokes the previous filmfare awards night to the gorgeous Vidya Balan to balance this strange Vidya. It even reminded me of the words of the brilliant Intellectual J.krishnamurthy “To divide anything into what should be and what is, is the most deceptive way of dealing with life.What is what you are doing, thinking and feeling from moment to moment. One must not go into the opposite or any opposite ideological action as that would be a fictitous desire other than what is. “ While I generally agree with him, I suppose there are exceptions to most rules in life.

Well, finally the moment arrived when cleared of all that was yellow, I was a happy fellow the expression of which was far from mellow. I shouted at my servant in delight to get the khichdi which one is supposed to have after an hour ready. Though the feeling is nowhere near to what one experiences in Vipasana meditation which clams to be a deep surgical operation of the mind and one actually feels dry cleaned from inside, this feels you wet-cleaned from inside. One feels like a new person all right.

How’s that for “From shit to fit” ? For those seriously inclined, one of the best links to this yogic kriya is

Happy shitting

Delhi Bloggers and New Media Society had it first meet at a farm in Shivaji Marg on Saturday, 12/1/2008 . I had not heard the word New media before that.

Though new media may be the term for different types of internet enabled communications, the word also brings memories of the recent sledging controversy for which Harbhajan Singh has to face charges for calling Andrew Symonds a monkey. From all accounts, it seems that even if he said that, he must have been provoked by Symonds. Apart from cricket, Australia has been a force to reckon with in Tennis and even hosts one of the four grand slams this time of the year. If sledging were allowed in Tennis, it would create such a funny situation if players were to shout obscenities after every shot or whenever they feel like. In doubles it would be even funnier as the players at the net can really get intense in the exchange of words when they feel like it . It would be even more amusing in sports like wrestling, judo, golf etc. The only reason why the cricketers get away with sledging is that they are not audible; one report even suggested that they deliberately say nasty things when they are away from the stump mikes. If that is correct, another form of “New media” should be introduced; what is to stop the ICC from forcing the players to carry a small microphone(new media) on their person. If that is not embarrassing enough for the players, whoever abuses should be chucked out for ten games straightaway unless we want to permit sledging in the name of “gamesmanship”. This way it can be new society with new media at least on the cricket field. One must appreciate cricket writer Peter Reobock for using the term “ a bunch of wild dogs” for the Australian team and demanding Ricky Ponting’s resignation - that is the gutsy new media of a different kind.

New media also reminds of another issue. Recently, when Amitabh Bachchan’s mother died, both the Times of India and Hindustan Times flashed pictures of a distraught Abhishek and Aishwarya on their front page on the same day. It reminded me of what Mr Bachchan said in an interview some years back” Even if the color of my beard changes, it makes front page news. I don’t know what to do”. In the late seventies and early eighties when Mr Bachchan was the reigning superstar, he replied when asked about the desirability of performing certain roles, “If eight hundred million people want to watch this, what can I do? “ There maybe a point there but I don’t think that the readers of Times of India or Hindustan Times want to know about the personal occasions of filmstars on their front pages. I am sure that represents a tremendous opportunity cost and a tremendous opportunity lost. It would not be out of place to mention here that one journalist even made it to Mr Bachchan’s bedside when he was sick sometime back. Time for introspection, time for new media.

In general, it will be the day when new media follows up on an issue instead of following the policy of “loving them and leaving them” where news stories are concerned. There should be a pending issues section in newspapers where issues for which no solution has been found are continuously displayed. That apart, when any media, whether it is mainstream media or web media, is able to bring about the kind of transparency and accountability in politics that is there in both sports and films ,that would be new media indeed. New media is not just about new technologies but new ideas as well.

Though I should have written this post long back, it kept getting postponed for one reason or another. A week after “Om Shanti Om” was released, a Nigerian friend of mine who had left India way back in 1975 suddenly popped in front of my residence. For a while I thought it was a mistake since we are several families living in a flat system. When he muttered the word “Baba” and his residence number of the seventies, I was able to put two and two together and welcomed him in.

Imagine meeting him after 32 long years. When we had parted ways, I was taller than him and we were of the same built but now, he was much more taller and heftier than me. After the initial exchange of pleasantries , he tried to speak in hindi or whatever he remembered though in 1975, he spoke as well as any Indian. He would speak a few words here and there which sounded funny. He said that he was out of practice but had not forgotten “Zeenat Aman”, “Yaadon ki Baraat” and Amjad Khan of Sholay. Some things are beyond the domain of language. We also remembered how his elder brother, Nuhu would wear goggles and look like Clive Lloyd( West Indies captain on their tour off 1974) and we would run after him shouting “Lloyd”, “LLoyd”

When I took him around the colony and the local club, we remembered our childhood days in the early seventies when we had spent three years together. He was extremely naughty and that gleam in his eyes had not receded over the years. Though a year younger than me, it was he who gave me my first “Sex Education” lesson at the age of nine( He was eight at that time) . Though I did not ask him at that time, I could not help asking him where he had received his sex enlightenment from at such a young age. When he arrived at his old house, he showed me the tall wall between his and the house of an American couple who used to stay there. He said that he had a naughty chowkidaar who used to put him on his shoulders and show the American couple “doing it “ at a certain time in the evening. He said that he learnt both theory and practicals like that. With or without internet, those inclined to learn will learn. Imagine, him coming after a gap of 32 years and telling me all this.

Om shanti Om was a tribute to a movie called Karz which was released sometime in the seventies. In the seventies, there used to be a great commercial movie director,”Manmohan Desai” who used to make films on long lost brothers who would separate as children and unite as adults. The best among them was the Amitabh staarer “Amar, Akbar Anthony”. You may enjoy such films as children but one tends to outgrow these things. Never in my wildest imagination I would have thought that Baba would return after 32 years. As far as I was concerned, he was out of sight, out of mind. I could not have traced him on google as I did not know his real name. He would not have been able to trace me had I not been staying in the same colony at a different place. Brothers or friends, it feels great to be reunited after such a long time. Hindi movies have a logic after all and I should say “Home shanti home”

Yesterday(20/10/2007), 20/20 World Champions India won the solitary 20/20 match against one day World Champions Australia which prompted Skipper M.S.Dhoni to declare with an air of conviction, “This proves that the World Cup victory was no fluke”. Considering that India did practically everything right and dominated throughout the match and that too against Australia, one cannot but agree with the captain.

The world cup and this victory should pave the way for a 20/20 revolution in India. Even before the world cup victory, Indian Media baron Subhash Chandra of Zee Telefilms knew what he was doing when, while introducing his India cricket league, he was focusing only on the 20/20 format. He had probably foreseen the potential and the popularity of these kind of matches which were earlier played only in South Africa and England. Even in a typical one day match, the real fireworks begin only in the last one- one and a half hours in most matches. Why not focus only on that? Management is more about leveraging which implies getting more for less and it is high time that the cricketing authorities woke up to popular demand. In a market economy, that is the ultimate arbiter. It is a good thing that the BCCI has announced the Indian premier league and I hope that it proves a death knell for test matches.

Frankly, after watching the 20/20 world cup, the one day matches appeared to be more like Test matches which test the spectator’s patience more than anything else. The first one day international between India and Australia was washed out after the first innings got over. Had it been a 20/20 match, both the innings could have got over and the spectators could have got their money and time’s worth in the first three and a half hours itself. Even from the vagaries of nature point of view, it is better.

One strange complaint often repeated about cricket that it brings the whole country to a standstill and people don’t work which is also shown in the recent, wonderful movie on cricket, “Iqbal”. If a 20-20 match beings at 6 pm, it can still finish around 10 pm and resolve any such complaints. It would then be like watching a movie which would prove to be a very good alternative form of entertainment apart from taking care of work-life balance.
Much before India started playing 20/20 in the world cup, I had suggested in another forum in an article on “Lateral thinking in cricket” that since one-day cricket was far more popular( which is why the current Australia-India test series has no test), there could be a best of five or best of three one day matches at each playing centre instead of test matches. Now I feel that only 20/20 should reign. It may seem now but one can even have two matches in one day which would be so much better than boring test matches which tend to put people off to sleep. It is quality and not quantity that matters.

Though cricketers are of the view that Test match is the real cricket, the contest between the bat and the ball, the contest of both mind and body, I have always believed that one day cricket is another type of test. In test cricket, stamina and endurance are tested but here temperament, quick thinking and pure stroke play is tested, which, like alacrity in fielding, may not be every cricketer’s cup of tea. In one interview, Dhoni admitted that 20/20 drains both the mind and the body because of its intensity. It is like an exam where one has to finish the paper within a given timeframe and therefore cricketers have to be on their toes all the time.

Only genuinely good cricketers can do well in both forms of the game- Sunil Gavaskar and Sachin Tendulkar have scored 34 and 37 centuries respectively in Test cricket but in one day cricket, Gavaskar has only one century against Tendulkar’s 40 centuries. The difference in class is obvious. Even considering the fact that Gavaskar played only 108 one day matches, considering his stature, he should have scored at least 10 in one dayers. That apart, since he is an opening batsman, there is no excuse for not performing well in the one dayers which to my mind is equally real cricket on different parameters and considering the fact that the world cup is played in one dayers and now 20/20. What is real can change with the times and preferences of people..

Since I grew up on Gavaskar, I was a great fan of his but in the context of instant cricket, one can only say that while one can appreciate his phenomenal powers of concentration or the Wall Rarhul Dravid’s longevity on the wicket, would one want to spend one’s time and money to see all that? Tennis star Martina Navratilova had once said in the context of concentrating “ I just concentrate on concentrating” and that is what happens in a test match which is more like an art movie and one has to have good concentration to appreciate Gavaskar’s concentration. On the other hand, in a 20/20 match, concentration is spontaneous and is there straight from the word go when one is assured of Dhoni or Yuvraj’s blitzkrieg by one cricketer or another While comparing, former captain Kapil Dev correctly pointed out “Who would want to see a one day match when one can get more from three and a half hours than what one gets in eight?”.

I would extend the same philosophy to test matches which are no match for 20/20 where return on time and money is concerned. I read in an article that one of the persons instrumental in starting test cricket was a man of wealth who did not have to work for a living. No wonder they are so long. Contrast that with today’s world where even a genuine connoisseur of the game cannot sit through the whole test match unless he is retired. Consider the opportunity cost. If there is even a best of three 20/20 matches at each centre, it will not only ensure more cash collections for the BCCI, but ensure adequate return on time and money for the spectators. If it rains, the rest days in between can be utilized to fill up the gap rather than watching boring test matches being washed out which can be even more irritating. Considering their disadvantages, they are bound to die a natural death anyway.

I read somewhere that since around 60 countries play hockey and around 160 play chess(recently Vishwanathan Anand also became world champion), as only 20 countries play cricket, being world champions in cricket is not that great an achievement. While I do not entirely agree with that, I do feel that the 20/20 format because of the time element and excitement is more suited to getting other countries interested in cricket and who knows, in the era of globalization, cricket may prove to be a prime example. Who better to promote all that than India, current champions and a nation where cricket is passionately followed. Even from an international perspective, it is better.

One can always have one test match instead of three to satisfy the puritans just the way there is a critics award and a popular award. As for job satisfaction of the cricketers, 20/20 could be made tougher to make it commensurate with a test match. Some cricketers even say that if one has a good technique, one can do well in any form of the game. If true, they should not crib about 20/20. The most ridiculous argument that I have heard against 20/20 is that sixes will lose their novelty if they are hit so frequently. I don’t think that “familiarity breeds contempt” applies here’ Yuvraj hitting six sixes in an over is a case in point. Sixes have improved in degree(they are really huge now) and frequency and one can never have enough of them. The cricketers can be encouraged to play with technique and could be given special recognition so that both them and the “cricket buffs” among the spectators are satisfied. It could be a win-win situation for all.

Another criticism leveled against 20/20 is that it is too much against tradition; it is too unorthodox. In my view, that is what makes it appealing and successful and coincidentally happens to be the reason behind Reliance’s phenomenal corporate success- ‘Being unconventional is the biggest convention in Reliance.’(For those interested in details, my published article- Thinking out of the box). It would not be out of place to mention here that there used to be a Bollywood movie in the late seventies called “Khubsoorat” which had actress Rekha singing a song “Saare Niyam tod do(Break all the rules), Niyam pe Chalna Chod do( Forget convention)”. That is what 20/20 represents and that is what makes it new and appealing(lkhubsoorat)

There are some people who will argue just for the sake of argument but the fact remains that continuing to play more tests when the same time could be used for 20/20 is a huge opportunity cost and opportunity lost especially when we are proving to be so good at it. Test matches should played the way art films are made- more an exception than the rule. Now, it seems that the one day matches strike the right balance.

Former England Captain Nasir Hussain had said before we won the world cup “Cricket being so popular in India, with millions playing gully cricket, India is bound to do well in 20/20 ”. Every person plays to his strengths. So should every nation, especially one in which Cricket is deemed a religion and which has a spiritual legacy. Spirituality implies impermanence and non-attachment which now needs to be practiced with Test cricket. Not doing so would be like shooting oneself in the foot or in cricketing parlance, getting out hit wicket, a situation which does not augur well for Wold Champions. Arriving can prove tougher than striving and we should try and sustain our success instead of it being a one time “flash in the pan” affair. We ned to focus where we excel and towards test matches, we must adopt the attitude of “chuck(leave)de, India”

Today it came in the papers how Sachin Tendulkar had to repeatedly clarify that he was not contemplating retirement because of the controversy sparked by his one statement ,” At 34, it is difficult to recover after a one day match” . The report said that how some Marathi newspaper stated he was contemplating requirement and then how he, the manager Rajiv Shukla and Rahul Dravid described the report as completely false. What a waste of energy!. About a couple of months ago, it happened with Saurav Ganguly. I don’t remember what the issue was but in the end Mr Ganguly was telling the journos ,”I can understand that there is tremendous competition in the media but at least you should have checked with me. I was just a phone call away”

In recent times, the Jessica lall case is one case where one can really be proud of the media. One wonders why it has to resort to all this. I was in Rajkot about a month and a half back where I asked a very reliable source about the case of Pooja Chauhan who had roamed the streets of that town half clad to protest against dowry. While there is some element of truth in the story, we learnt that someone from the media encouraged her to do that. That’s being really proactive.

When I read Hindustan times editor MR Vir Sanghvi’s lucid articles and a lot that is written in newspapers and magazines, one really wonders whether the so called communication revolution can bring about a change for the common man or is it all a sham or intellectual fun.? There were so many articles about the common people favoring Abdul Kalam continuing as President and even the fact that had there been a direct contest, Mr Kalam would have won hands down. Yet, the elected representatives were able to thwart democracy or the voice of the people. How is then, the common man any better off than his ancestors with all the communication hullabaloo ? Even Internationally, Mr Bush went ahead with the Iraq war with practically the whole world against him.

Now, the Times of India has started a leadership lead India campaign. They are encouraging young people who “have it in them” to apply. One of the surveys says that a majority of people believe in honesty as a trait. That is obvious but if I shout from the rooftops how I honest I am, after the way Satyameva Jayate failed, is it going to make a difference?. How does one monitor honesty while the person is in office. Going by the old saying “Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely” and the fact that the future is not always an extension of the present, how can one ensure that somebody continues to be honest. How does one judge the honesty and competence of politicians ?.

Instead of running after Sachin and Saurav, the media should also report why the board President is not appointing a CEO to run cricket affairs as promised. It is strange that Sachin is accountable to Mr Pawar and the nation for a poor world cup performance but nobody bothers about how the board or its President performs. That is why we have only symbolic presidents (Pratibha means talent in Hindi) instead of performing Presidents( Mr Abdul Kalam)

A day after(8/9/2007) writing this post, it came in the papers that the sting operation on Delhi govt school teacher Uma Khurana maybe a fraud. This only vindicates what is written in the post above. Then during the last one day international between India and England, Sachin Tendulkar was again given out when he did not seem to be so. What is use of technology and the third umpire then? That is also kind of media and one is not proactive when one supposed to be.

This is in reference to Mr Shashi Tharoor’s article “It’s time to stop harassing M F Hussain” in the Sunday times of India on 29/7/2007. I think this is his third article on the subject where he keeps defending Mr Hussain’s independent right as an artist to keep portraying Hindu gods and goddesses in a naked form. Recently, we also had some controversy where some artist from a design college in Gujarat was also condemned for the same reason in sculpting.
Sometime ago, Mr Vir Sanghvi, the editor of Hindustan times had expressed the view that freedom of expression was all very well but it entailed a sense of responsibility. One may express himself artistically on touchy issues but did it have to be there for public consumption?

I can’t help but agree more with Mr Sanghvi. The first prime minister of India, Mr Jawaharlal Nehru had expressed his displeasure on religion because of the kind of violence that had taken place in the past in the name or organized religions and the fact that it was contrary to what they preached. When there are so many things to choose from, why choose something that is bound to arouse controversy unless it was started with some ulterior motive in mind. From a practical perspective, it is deemed that no publicity is bad publicity.

Though not much of a poet, I started my poetic career in making silly limericks on issues and things. Then I gradually graduated to poetry on other people’s wives apart from my own ( one has to lose the battle to win the war.). Just as bunking school which was more stringent gave more thrill than bunking college, writing poems on forbidden fruit was more challenging This is an example of my “artistic expression”:-

When your husband goes abroad

I happen to be quite good at spur of the moment Hindi limericks. Needless to mention, initially the ladies were delighted and my thrill knew no bounds on receiving handsome compliments. However, for all their spontaneous responses, I never got a request for an encore after the first two or three narrations. For a while I was perplexed but it soon dawned on me that sooner or later, the husbands( hasna band) were bound to intervene. I could understand their plight because for all practical purposes, I was one myself. All good things have to come to an end and my poetic initiative could not but have a premature end

Mr Tharoor, in his previous articles had expounded on the virtues of what is called “reasoned argument” but one only needs vested interest and a good imagination to circumvent that. In my case :-

1) My friends knew that most of my poetry on their wives was frivolous and there was not anything remotely romantic in them.

2) My friends also knew that I wrote “serious serious” articles on intellectual matters in spiritual/ intellectual/ HRD magazines and was therefore “safe”.

3) Dale Carnegie had mentioned once how one’s spouse and one’s occupation were the two most important decisions of one’s life. Since I have already written almost 15, articles on the latter( links on my blog - http://mypyp.wordpress.com/ ) and practically nothing on the former( I am glad my wife has not read Dale Carnegie), one can assume that for me, spouse/spouses were on the backburner.

4) One Punjabi gentlemen had once asked me “ Do you Gujarati men address your wives also as “ben”. I refuted that strongly and after spouting a spur of the moment limerick on his wife told him “ We may not call them “ben” but this is just to show you how can we can address the real ben(other people’s wives) if we choose to. Then, I resolved to improve this absurd “ben” image of Gujaratis and set out to narrate poetry on other people’s wives with a vengeance.

5) By a process of serendipity, I discovered that my silly rhyming was acceptable when, once in a blue moon, I managed to write somewhat “classy” poems on spirituality, cricket etc accepted by some reputed
websites. One sample:-

The legacy of September 11,2001

Since practicing rhyming on the ladies had led to all this “achievement”, I could argue that it was all for a noble cause.

6)It is said that “God punishes the intention, not the action”. Apart from the above, I give vent to my artistic expression on all sorts of subjects- from the ball boys on the Tennis court to the delicious cooking. I may make poetry on someone who I may not attractive enough but whose name rhymes well and vice versa.It is not difficult to prove that it is the love of poetry or more specifically, the delight of rhyming and as long as the motives are noble, nobody has any business getting perturbed.

In my view, not even a lawyer can refute these “reasoned arguments” though they sound more like the devil quoting the scriptures for his purpose.. The fact remains that no matter how “civilized” we get, in our heart of hearts “A human being is still a creature of emotion, not logic”; The ladies expression of spontaneous delight did me in because sooner or later, the husband’s ego was bound to be hurt. One of them did try to give me a dose on my own medicine and would have succeeded but for the fact that god did not deem it fit to confer the art of even lousy poetry on every Tom, Dick and Harry.

Being a writer, Mr Tharoor would do well to heed Mahatma Gandhi’s words, “

“A writer almost always presents one aspect of a case, whereas every case can be seen from no less than seven points of view, all of which are probably correct by themselves, but not correct at the same time and in the same circumstances. “ Though this is written in the context of motives of people who write books, it is generally true as well. Talking in the context of looking at a thing from a different standpoint in different circumstances, Gandhiji adds “All my life though, the very insistence on truth has taught me to appreciate the beauty of compromise.”. He even described this spirit as an essential part of Satyagraha.

The liberals can go on arguing in the name of freedom of expression but the fact remains that when one can move on to greener pastures(women, children, nature), why restrict oneself to touchy issues? In a country of a billion people, there are plenty of anonymous Greek gods and goddesses who could do with some limelight. Just as Mr Hussain had an obsession with Madhuri Dixit once upon a time, he would probably get more money and job satisfaction on revealing unknown talent. The twenty first century is as it is expected to be stress prone and there is no point in being provocative on sensitive issues. If you put your hand on top of a candle, won’t you get burnt?

Mr Tharoor is bang on target on one issue though. He says towards the end of the article that in his old age, Hussain is forced to live in exile and not allowed to return to the land of his birth because of the threats to his life. For a religion that prides itself on tolerance, this is despicable. He is not a naughty young poet after all.

A lot has been written about Richard Gere’s peck on Shilpa Shetty’s cheek. Prominent journalista have cautioned against the excesses of the moral police brigade; one journalist even went on to suggest that propriety would also depend upon the kind of kiss and no big problem with a harmless peck. Advertisement Guru Prahlad Kakkar said that what the magistrate said was not the voice of the majority. When the magistrate passed orders against Gere, prominent lawyers spoke of it as a cheap publicity stunt. Very true. Shilpa had herself said that the episode had been blown out of proportion and in pursuing the matter like this, India would make itself the laughing stock of the world. It came on TV and the papers that Gere had apologized for “offending” Indians. That is really the height of things- Richared Gere is a “rich” in charm and I am sure from him nobody would mind hugs, kisses Vagere Vagere(etc, etc)

One wonders why the moral police or even the mainstream media for that matter stand up for issues that really matter and show the kind of reaction that was witnessed when Shilpa was insulted on the Big Brother Television Show. Consider some issues:-

1) After the debacle in the World Cup, the cricket board imposed a strange penalty on the players that they could do only a certain number of commercials in a particular year. Nowhere in the world can such a penalty be imposed on sportspeople. It is not the board’s business(prerogative) to determine what the players are doing in their free time and as some former cricketers pointed out, if they are not performing, just drop them. Did it not do a world of good to Ganguly ? If one has to monitor them, one can make sure that they practice regularly but that too would be ridiculous. The autobiographies of former cricketers Kapil Dev and Sunil Gavaskar reveal how the board tries to manipulate captains and players to its advantage so that no one player becomes too powerful. This too is a stupid ploy in trying to be an autocratic boss in such a transparent sport. It is fundamentally wrong and deserves to be condemned strongly.

2) Talking of Cricket, in the Sunday times that former Australian Captain Steve Waugh(he was in India recently) and former Indian Captain Kapil Dev had criticized the way the cricket match telecast was impeded by the influx of advertisements on Television. Thank god some celebrity spoke up because one always felt that the way the ads were inserted when some interesting/critical moment was to be shown, it was like putting the cart before the horse. Waugh has rightly commented that it is Advertisements that are supposed to promote cricket and not the other way around.. He said that vital comments are missing and the Telecast is plain “Unwatchable”. Kapil’s words are more revealing “Critical moments are lost to Shampoo Ads. At least for the finals, the sponsors will not mind making a little less money so that we can see the whole thing”. Since the sponsors pay the board and this is a perpetual issue, how come nobody speaks against this? Is the board prepared to lose money for something obviously wrong.?

3) There has been a lot of discussion in the news lately about the autonomy for IIMs and how the reservation issue was getting out of hand. Thank god the supreme court intervened because reservations are plain and simply wrong. Meritorious students cannot be made to pay the prize of populist politicians not having the foresight to create more educational institutions. A more practical solution would be online education. Not only this but all vote bank politics should be stalled by the media or the judiciary. Politician bashing has become a full time hobby but there is not enough action to curb their activities strongly. In the UP elections, populist politics is in full swing. Why does not anybody speak about this- is that morally right?

4) There are several mainstream media magazines reporting on how Rahul Gandhi is bracing for the UP battle for better things ahead and some still speculate on who among the Gandhi siblings “Priyanka/ Rahul), who would be better to lead a hundred year old party. All this dynastic politics business is mainly because a significant chunk of the Indian population is still illiterate and is swayed by the Gandhi name. That one can understand but why does the mainstream media has to go overboard in giving them coverage unless it is on true merit. The former editor of Economic Times Swaminathan. S. Venkata Iyer while acknowledging the fact that dynastic politics was rampant, dismissed Rahul Gandhi’s claims of Gandhis acting decisively. The facts that he gives about Nehru’s Vascillation on Kashmir, Rajiv Ganhi’s stand etc on Sri Lanka clearly show that the decisiveness was restricted to the Bangladesh war. The mainstream media should take a cue from Mr Aiyer.There should be some mechanism of detecting and promoting political talent instead of blindly following political families. Could Rohan Gavaskar succeed Sunil Gavaskar?- is sports more significant than politics. How come nobody talks of these issues? Is it because politicians are powerful?

5) Talking of political talent, Hindustan times editor Vir Sanghvi, in his Sunday column has written how we are obsessed with old age where politicians are concerned whereas people the world over look for Dynamism and youth. That is true to some extent though like in cricket teams, there has to be a blend of youth and experience. Why does not the moral police take up such issues- development , needs of society, etc. Once the elected representatives are elected, nobody knows what they do for their constituency for five long years. Why can’t they have immediate accountability for politicians the way they have for cricketers. It is ironical that a politician is heading a cricket board and has penalized the cricketers strongly for not performing in the world cup. Is performance in a sport more important than governing the country.? Why not a similar rule for them? Why doesen’t any moral police outfit discuss issues of develpment, progress, education, infrastructure etc instead of taking up frivolous issues

6) In the corporate world, I have failed to understand one thing. The world over, there is a credit rating system where each individual has a credit history which can be bought for a few dollars. This ensures that nobody fools around with his credit . In India, small companies are always scared of big company not paying their dues and sometimes are scared of even expanding their businesses. This is in direct variance to all this talk about economic progress and making India a so- called “superpower:”. Why doesn’t the moral police or the media take up this issue.

( A day after this post was written, it came in the papers that 400 VIPs owe crores for their illegally occupied bunaglows from all political parties. Why does not the moral police take up this- it is not a kiss but a rape of the tax payer. The media will also sleep over it till someone like one former governer of Bihar is kicked out of his bungalow for non-payment)

Actually, the point is that we all wait for Jesica lalls to be killed or Priyadarshini Mattoos to be raped to force the politicians and courts to perform. There must be millions of emotional and mental rapes because of case delays in the courts of India, there are countless cases suffering because of autocratic bosses and other injustices, some cannot help but put up with shoddy customer service(Cust-se-mar- Customer ) vagere, vagere(etc etc.) The moral police of the media should create a ruckus on such issues- the kind of response Shilpa got because of her insult on the “Big Brother” TV show. What is the use of the so called communication revolution otherwise? We all know how Mr Bush flouted the United Nations and against a majority of world opinon, went on to wage a totally farcical war in Iraq. Why doesn’t the moral police and the media take up such issues?- how are we any different from our ancestors if we cannot use the communication tools to our advantage to prevent an injustice as what happened in the Jesica lall case?. Why should such episodes be sporadically restricted to major injustice?. The way our courts function, every minor injustice becomes a major injustice anyway.

Then why give so much importance to Mr Gere(he should also be judged overall- his association with Aids and Dalai Lama instead of creating an unnecessary hungama):-

In being obsessed about Mr Gere’s and shilpa’s dance,
What all critical issues we leave to chance
What all we choose to publicly miss
By giving too much importance to to a private kiss.

In a lighter vein, it would do our ladies no harm
For them to be swayed by a man of Gere’s charm
Through prose and poetry, let it be heard
Only a nerd would be averse to such activities of Richard.

( Perhaps I should also add that many are proabably envying him including yours truly)

This poem is a variation of the poem that I wrote earlier when India reached the finals of the world cup’2003. Since that was unbearably long, I have kept this simple and short.

APPEAL TO THE INDIAN TEAM ON THE EVE OF 2007 CRICKET WORLD CUP

In cricket, what better achievement can be other than winning the world cup
It being a religion in India, it shall be a national thumbs up

Before the memory of our victory in1983 permanently fades
We have t the opportunity to repeat the feat after more than two decades.

One cannot but help feel a little nostalgic,
It would be really tragic if you are not able to repeat the 1983 world cup magic

That particular world cup had bequeathed on us Indians a legacy
We have again got a chance to show that for us , winning it is no longer just a fantasy.

It does not matter that the Australians are the current world Champions
You have already shown , Rahul what you can do with your companions.

In fact, it seems that on your current form,
It would be a travesty of fate if in the world cup you don’t perform.

Whether it is the recent tournaments at home or the victory against the West Indies
The world cup has nor room for complacency, let it not put you at ease.

Unlike some countries which acquire a stray nuke
We have to show to the world that 1983 was no fluke

There is no better way to show your resilience
Then to break the two decade long silence

After a gap of twenty years.
You are once again the object of the nation’s eyes and ears
The whole country is ready to shed happy tears.

Whether in prose or poetry , let it be said aloud.
By winning the world cup, you shall be making the whole country proud.

For you and some colleagues,Rahul this world cup maybe your last
Please ensure that memories also last.

The original title of this article was going to be “If I were God..”. That would obviously sound quite pompous and so I first thought of “Does God need a consultant”? . However since the film Guru has been released recently and resurrected certain stray thoughts in my mind, I substituted consultant with Guru. This article is a “thinking out of the box” exercise on god’s performance on several issues(because of which there seems a lack of focus which is deliberate):-

I read somewhere that the film Guru is based on the life of India’s most successful post independent industrialist, the late Dhirubhai Ambani.. His success mostly was because of lateral thinking - http://www.lifepositive.com/Mind/personal-growth/personal-growth/lateral.asp. The world’s best known authority on lateral thinking, Edward De Bono has always advocated that both linear and lateral thinking should be introduced in schools because intellectuals or other bright people do not necessarily make good thinkers. Just focusing on the romance of “Rags to Riches” story while missing the essence is like missing the wood for the trees. Assuming that god is running this world, he is not doing a very good job on this issue; high time he influences the teachers. . Teacher is also synonymous with the word Guru the literal meaning of which is “One who removes darkness.” A lot of darkness can be dispelled if lateral thinking is taught. Wonder why it does not happen.? The govt may or may not do anything but the people of India gave Dhirubhai a farewell that speaks for itself- he was the Guru of Gurus and who better than Hirubhai(My name is Hiren Shah) to extol the virtues of Dhirubhai.

Talking of Dhirubhai reminds me of my father who though not an entrepreneur, had turned around a sick company and won a partnership on the strength of his management skills alone. Being a chartered accountant by profession, he prevailed upon me the importance of cash flow management and how any business could collapse without continuous liquidity. So much so that I ended up writing a poem on it . God really takes the cake where cash flow is concerned. He has to ensure that sufficient accidents happen every month to ensure that the kitchen fires burn in several homes(mechanics, doctors, insurance etc); he has to ensure that people fight and there are disputes so that lawyers, police etc earn a living etc etc. Basically, he has to operate on the principle of “One man’s problem is another man’s opportunity”. That’s quite a naughty way to run the world even accounting for the law of Karma. Liquidity apart, God has to ensure that overall the world is good(profitable) and considering the fall of people like Hitler and Stalin, he has done a good job of it. He is a pretty good money manager.

The law of Karma reminds me of the horrifying sexual exploitation and serial killings of innocent children at Nithari Village in Noida recently. One cannot but wonder about the law and what the innocent children must have done in their previous lives to deserve such a cruel fate. Talking in the management context of “ One should not make the same mistake twice”, unless god makes the law of Karma transparent( one should be able to see what one did in one’s previous lives for reward/punishment) how can one know one’s mistake and ensure that it is not repeated again. This is assuming that the law is correct( going by Hinduism, Jainism and to the best of my knowledge, Budhdhism). On mooting this question, I got a new reply this time- the first four years, the child has to pay for the father’s sins, the next four the mother’s sins, the next four his own sins before the actions of the current birth starts. Interesting, if true.

Otherwise the answers one tends to get are- if god makes the law transparent and nobody does any bad deed , how will he run the world- if there is no villain, where will the heros come from and what about the famous maya jaal ?. Another explanation in the context of “Necessity is the mother of invention” is that if no or very little trouble happens, who the hell will remember good(poor), old God?. As it is, one gets to hear that most people worship god out of fear and greed but very few out of love. Man, by his very nature is selfish but for God to create so much trouble in the world just to be remembered? God would not be spiritual if god were like that and if that is so, existence has no meaning. The way tides happen, seasons change, the distance between the earth, moon and sun and similar other things that happen in the Universe which indicates that the universe is in order- why not this(transparency in law of karma)? God alone knows the answer and I do hope the old boy gives it a thought or two.

Talking of transparency reminds me of the redoubtable Bill Gates, the richest and one of the most successful men in the world. I have read in books on how at Microsoft, anybody can write to Mr Bill Gates directly and be redirected by him. In my humble opinion, that must be one of the major reasons of his success because with that kind of transparency, Mr Gates probably knows what the potential of each individual is and people are not likely to be scared of their immediate bosses. Today it has come in the papers “Lost your appetite for work? Blame your toxic boss” where it is given how autocratic bosses can harm both the individuals and the organization. I have read other books on the subject and also suffered practically and feel that the situation can be redressed only if the top boss( boss of bosses) ensures that there is enough transparency without fear which can only be good in the long run. This can only happen if the boss of boss of the bosses( god himself) instills this sense in the heads of organizations. Wonder what god’s views on this are.

Talking of Mr Gates cannot but remind of the initiative that he has taken with his foundation. One gets to hear of a “Capitalists mind with a socialist heart” but perhaps for the first time in the history of mankind, the world’s two richest men have come together for philanthropic activities with a $60billion fund. This is a very handsome step considering the fact that civilizations have perished when there have been extreme disparities of income and wealth. Mr Gates also said that he wanted to give back to society not only in terms of money but whatever he had learnt in the business world. One gets to read in spiritual books that many times severe adversity causes an about turn in people’s attitudes and make them graduate towards spirituality/philanthropy. It happened to one great industrialist. If true, it would be prudent of God to hasten adversity and bring it a little early in their lives- preposterous though it may seem, one has to look from an overall perspective and the lead given by these two gentlemen can remove whatever is left of the rift between capitalism/ Socialism forever. As we say in Hindi, shubh(read ashubh) kaam me deri kya?

Transparency cannot but help you remind of the political system. Yesterday, there was a report on how cricketers were going to be paid on performance alone. I find it a little strange that people playing a sport have to be so accountable and elected representatives of people have no accountability. In every second management book, it is given that goals are so important that the habit of forming them should be inculcated from early childhood. It is strange that for sports and children and companies, goals and performance is important but for those running the country, it does not matter. Strange are the ways of God- somewhat like putting the cart before the horse.

Now that reminds me of something else. Getting their due always reminds me of women- one wonders when they will get their due? I read a couple of books on their exploitation at work. One keeps reading on how considering their population, women are grossly misrepresented in parliament. There has been some headway in the right direction after liberalization but by and far, it remains a man’s world. One would like to believe that God wanted men and women to be equal and since women gives birth to a man, this is the cart before the horse all over again. I am not saying that god does not have horse sense but one wonders why such injustice? The 21st century may turn out to be one of servant and mother leadership and one hopes that god makes amends for past mistakes.

Getting their due and cash flow reminds one of something else- one journalist had told me that the goddess of Laxmi( Money) and Saraswati( Goddess of knowledge) do not always go hand in hand. Someone with a mass appeal like actor Govinda can give a brilliant actor like Naseeruddin shah a run for his money where commercial appeal is concerned. Good art films flop where substandard commercial films may do well. There are examples of artists struggling for subsistence and people with very humble businesses being millionaires. Everything that is good does not necessarily succeed commercially and vice-versa. God alone knows the reasons for this but at least he can do a more balancing act that befits his stature.

The balancing act again reminds you of the wide gap between applied spirituality and applied science. Intellectuals like Krishnamurthy have clearly stated that man has progressed technologically but regressed psychologically. Events like the Iraq war, 9/11 or even the recent bomb blasts prove statements like “Man. God’s greatest mistake” or “Religions are many but religion is one”. Spirituality and “religious mind” is more talked about than actually followed . Being selfish is not always a bad thing.. God could do with a bit of selfishness here- why not promote one’s own subject( applied spirituality). We have made enough headway in Science anyway.

From an individual’s perspective, being spiritual is being happy and peaceful throughout the day. This is simply not possible if a person is in the wrong profession which is brought out properly in my other blog -Make your passion your profession. The Russian comunists did it , the chinese also misplaced people in the cultural revolution but how can god do such a thing. I am surprised that a superpower like the United states has so many people writing on the subject. I don’t like to critciize god but he is not much of a critical thinker- how can welfare of mankind be brought about if a majority of people are miserable for a majority of working hours. You need to something about that, Godji.

I can go on and on as one stray thought leads to another. Just a word guru started a whole chain of thought which goes on to show that thought itself is the biggest guru. ( Thoughts have infinite power). At the same time, all this gives food for thought what god is really upto and with due apologies for insubordination, can he do with some help on certain issues. ?

I just finished reading the wonderful book “The world if flat”. by three times pulitzer winning author Thomas Friedmann.It is basically about how flatteners like outsourcing, off shoring, supply chaining among other flatteners were creating a level playing field for all countires in the world. It spelled out the consequences from several perspectives on the United states in general and the world at large in particular. While saluting the manufacturing and service prowess of China and India respectively, the author is of the view that unless education in America is radically transformed, Americans shall have a tough time coping with global competition.

The book has several interesting references to India including the TCS contract in the state of Indiana, interactions with Infosys President Nandan Nilekani and former Wipro President Vivek Paul, India’s prominent role in business process outsourcing and supply chains, India’s rural mismanagement , role of NGO etc.

Though on the whole the book salutes both China and India, it has certain misgivings about Indian misgovernance. Some excerpts:-

Foreign investors “ When we go to India and are asked about opening plants, we say “You don’t have the infrastructure. Your electricity goes four times a day”

“Dinaker singh, the hedge fund manager regularly goes back to India to visit his family. In the winter of 2004, he went back to New Delhi for a visit. When I saw him a few months later, he told me about the moment when Inida’s economy as a whole, had still not taken off as much as it should have- outside of the high-tech sector. “I was on the sixth floor of a hotel in New Delhi and when I looked outside the window I could see for miles. How come? Because you do not have assured power in Delhi for elevators, so these are not many tall buildings” No sensible investor would want to build a tall building in a city where the power could go out at any moment and you might have to walk up twenty flights of stairs”

“There is no question that china and India are better off for having at least part of their population in the flat world. But there are many, many others living outside this cycle. They live in villages or rural areas that only criminals would want to invest in, regions where violence, civil war and disease compete with one another to see which can ravage the civilian population most.”

In the same context, this is what was written in another part of the book “ At the same time rural Indians understood, at the gut level, exactly why it was not happening for them: because local governments in India have gotten so eaten away by corruption and mismanagement that they cannot deliver to the poor the schools and infrastructure they need to get a fair share of the pie. India can have the smartest high-tech vanguard in the world, but if it does not find a way to bring along more of those who are unable, disabled, undereducated and underserved, it will be like a rocket that takes off but quickly falls back to earth for lack of sustained effort. “

This reminds me of a statement that former Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi often said and which was repeated time and again “ I know that from every one rupee that the government allocates for the poor, only 15 paise actually reaches them. “ A strong prime minister with 400plus MPs in parliament was powerless to do much about it. It so happened that when Rajiv Gandhi died in 1991, I used to be executive assistant to the managing director in a washing machine company. Earlier I had also functioned as executive assistant to my father in a lighting company that he had helped turn around. My experiences as an executive assistant in these medium sized companies can be best summed up in these words- there is a slip between the cup and the lip. So many things can go wrong after instructions are issued because of the hassles of communication and other things that one really wonders how a country as diverse as India with all its powerful vested interests can ever be governed without executive assistants who monitor implementation and report directly to the prime minister or the concerned union cabinet minister in some cases.

Another thing that amazes in politics is the lack of transparent goals. After one elects an MP, one does not even know what that member of parliament is doing. There should be websites on which there should be clear cut goals for each MP, minister or whoever is there in an office of responsibility. The book says that with the way India, China, Russia and certain countries of Latin America are expected to progress, if rural development does not catch up and rural population continues to migrate to the cities in search of a better life, these countries and the world at large shall be in serious trouble because of infrastructure problems and pollution.

Management consultants emphasize that setting goals is so important that it is a habit that should be cultivated in school days. My wife, a nursery school teacher told me that they have goals even for the tiny tots to develop their gross and fine motor skills. Politicians without goals are like naughty boys in need of regulation. There is no point in blaming them all the time if there is no proper mechanism to ensure accountability. Information revolution and mass communication are usless without clear cut goals and effective monitoring. The media should not just report misgovernance but monitor the issue to its logical conclusion.
Our so called “democracy” is quite infructous if not useless without this.

If governance does not cope up with economic progress, it could be counterproductive and India could become a veritable hell impossible for anybody to nurse back to health.