Home Shanti Home

Though I should have written this post long back, it kept getting postponed for one reason or another. A week after “Om Shanti Om” was released, a Nigerian friend of mine who had left India way back in 1975 suddenly popped in front of my residence. For a while I thought it was a mistake since we are several families living in a flat system. When he muttered the word “Baba” and his residence number of the seventies, I was able to put two and two together and welcomed him in.

Imagine meeting him after 32 long years. When we had parted ways, I was taller than him and we were of the same built but now, he was much more taller and heftier than me. After the initial exchange of pleasantries , he tried to speak in hindi or whatever he remembered though in 1975, he spoke as well as any Indian. He would speak a few words here and there which sounded funny. He said that he was out of practice but had not forgotten “Zeenat Aman”, “Yaadon ki Baraat” and Amjad Khan of Sholay. Some things are beyond the domain of language. We also remembered how his elder brother, Nuhu would wear goggles and look like Clive Lloyd( West Indies captain on their tour off 1974) and we would run after him shouting “Lloyd”, “LLoyd”

When I took him around the colony and the local club, we remembered our childhood days in the early seventies when we had spent three years together. He was extremely naughty and that gleam in his eyes had not receded over the years. Though a year younger than me, it was he who gave me my first “Sex Education” lesson at the age of nine( He was eight at that time) . Though I did not ask him at that time, I could not help asking him where he had received his sex enlightenment from at such a young age. When he arrived at his old house, he showed me the tall wall between his and the house of an American couple who used to stay there. He said that he had a naughty chowkidaar who used to put him on his shoulders and show the American couple “doing it “ at a certain time in the evening. He said that he learnt both theory and practicals like that. With or without internet, those inclined to learn will learn. Imagine, him coming after a gap of 32 years and telling me all this.

Om shanti Om was a tribute to a movie called Karz which was released sometime in the seventies. In the seventies, there used to be a great commercial movie director,”Manmohan Desai” who used to make films on long lost brothers who would separate as children and unite as adults. The best among them was the Amitabh staarer “Amar, Akbar Anthony”. You may enjoy such films as children but one tends to outgrow these things. Never in my wildest imagination I would have thought that Baba would return after 32 years. As far as I was concerned, he was out of sight, out of mind. I could not have traced him on google as I did not know his real name. He would not have been able to trace me had I not been staying in the same colony at a different place. Brothers or friends, it feels great to be reunited after such a long time. Hindi movies have a logic after all and I should say “Home shanti home”

Umrao Jaan ya Umar Bhar Jahannum?

I saw Umrao Jaan today. Though the movie is slow and can be quite boring for people not so fond of Urdu poetry or dialogues, its an absolute must for Aishwarya Rai fans who was “omnipresent” throughout the film. Both Miss Rai and Abhishek Bachchan(who does not have much to do in the film) have put in good performances at par with Shabana Azmi who is in her element as usual. No point in comparing Aishwarya to Rekha in the old movie because with the kind of Rekhas(beauty)she has, performance can be on the backburner for some. Speaking for myself, I am a hardcore Rekha fan for both style(beuaty) and substance(talent).

More than the performers and the performances, some chaste urdu poetry and dialogues were quite spellbinding. One such dialogue in the film which Shabana Azmi says to Aishwarya Rai goes something like this

“Heere ko apni chamak nahin dikhti par jauhri uski Kadar karna jaanta hai”.(Maynot be exact) . This implies that a person may not know his own worth but a discerning coach/master may know enough to be kingmaker.

It reminded me of what I had read a couple of years ago- Current Chairman of Indian cricket Selectors Dilip Vengsarkar was then on a “talent-scout” mission among the small villages and towns of India to hunt for natural cricketers like Sachin Tendulkar and Kapil Dev. Much before that, former Test cricketer and member of world cup winning team Madan lal while talking in the context of coaching my son told me “ My years in International cricket has taught me one thing. Cricket is a god given gift. If I see a gifted child, I take interest in him. Otherwise I tell the parents not to waste my and their time and take their child wherever his potential lies” . Even for Tennis, the best player in the local club also told me that the coaches often know who has the potential but many times hide facts from the parents of the less gifted child to earn more. One wonders how far a proactive talent scout system can work in education as well.

(A week after writing this post, it came in an article on India today(featuring Vengsarkar) that cricketers spotted by the Talent Reasearch Development officers(TRDO) were groomed by the National cricket academy. Vengsarkar states in the article that there is no exceptional talent that can straightaway be inducted into the Indian cricket team. It reminded me of how Wasim Akram and Inzamam-ul-haq had been catapulted to International cricket by the then Pakistan captian Imran khan after watching them on Television. Akram as captain followed the same policy with Abdul Razzaq.More or less the same thing happened to Tendulkar. It may not work in all cases(Parthiv Patel) but at least the TRDOs can be there in all occupations)

I recently read somewhere that some recruiting firm was not satisfied with the quality of software engineers that were coming out of institutes. It reminded me of this post in which it is stated that only 20% of the total talent pool is good enough for India Inc.

Who educates the educationists?

The direct definition of Education is that it is derived from the latin word educere which implies to take out what is already in(and not blindly stuff in). Another interesting definition of Education is that “Education is whatever you are left with after you have forgotten whatever you have learnt”.

The above definitions imply that you are born with a certain innate potential. What does that imply? Well known motivation speaker, Mr Shiv Khera often says “ Winners do not do different things. They do things differently”. Though he says this in the context of attitude, I believe it is more true for aptitude for the simple reason that everybody cannot do everything differently. Another well known American consultant said that “You have to figure out what is uniquely you”. According to them, grand success depends on being able to identify if not pin-point what is it that you can do uniquely and exceptionally well. Each of the Pandavas being unique in their own way, one of the teachings of the Mahabharat is to develop your unique quality.

Natural talent often manifests well without any formal coaching. I played lawn Tennis for several years but was not satisfied with the backhand(bane of many racquet games). My younger brother got it right in the first week itself without any coaching in such a brilliant manner that many players complimented him. My wife is qualified in English hons but it is me, an MBA who has written articles and poems for magazines and newspapers. Similarly, she does certain business work much better than I do. My father does much better trading in shares than me despite not having any formal training in Technical analysis(graphs) which I have. I once worked in a company where the rise of one person was much faster than four others though all of them were from the same batch from the same institute.

John Adair, in his book, effective innovation while giving the example of a trained artist who excelled as an inventor concluded that “Engineering is just a state of mind. You do not need a vaste amount of knowledge”

All this clearly shows that talent(application) is more important than the tool(knowledge). Even the scriptures talk about it. Vedanta says that Sukshma( subtle, subjective) is more powerful than sthula(gross, objective). Vedanta also talks about each one to progress according to his natural inclination-Raja yoga, Bhakti Yoga, Karma yoga and Jnana yoga and further discriminate according to their states of mind –Rajsik, Tamsik and Satvik.. Many intellectual and spiritual stalwarts- Vivekanand, Osho, Krishnamurthy, Aurobindo etc have spoken of it. However one wonders how much the so called educational institutes follow it- imparting knowledge is not very tough but being able to spot innate talent is a different ballgame altogether. Following humotech is as if not more important than following biotech or infotech.

It would not be out of place to mention here what I read about the board exam suicides(which have gone up in the last five years) a few months ago in an article which suggested that the subject of emotional intelligence should start early in schools. One cannot disagree with that but maybe if true educationists were there, the children would know where their unique strenghts were and there would be no reason to commit suicide because of fear of blind competition. Competition ironically means “seeking together”. In any case, blind pursuit of knowledge instead of talent or application in the era of internet is plain stupidity.

Today itself, in the Sunday Times of India, dress designer Abu Jani ( Abu Jani Sandeep Khosla ) says “In 1886 we were treading uncharted waters. Neither of us possessed any design qualifications and we had precious little in terms of finances or infrastructure to invest into the grand vision we had conjured up for ourselves. What we did have in abundance was the dream and determination to turn it into a reality.”

Well, for every Abu-Sandeep who have the guts to follow their convictions, there are countless who do not know their hidden talents, their unique talents or their so called “dreams” and unless the education systems reforms, they are destined to live the life of Thomas Carlyle’s “ The person who has found his vocation in life is a blessed human being. Let him ask for no other blessedness.” Since a majority of time is spent on work it can be a lifetime of misery- “Umar bhar Jehanoom”(lifelong hell) which is the life of Aishwarya Rai in the movie.

Salute the new wise guy, Lage raho Munnabhai- Bapu ke Lal or Jessica Lall?

The word “lal” in hindi implies one’s children and Gandhiji was revered as Bapu(Father) by many. The movie “Lage raho Munnabhai” is a very good attempt at remembering his legacy. The director has tried to show quite humorously how truth and non-violence which is what Gandhiji stood for are still one of the best ways to deal with day to day life situations.

Jessica lall more than anybody else in recent times symbolizes the fight for truth and Justice. Almost the entire mainstream media united in appealing and making presentations for justice when her murderer was adjudged not guilty by the court. Priyadarshini Matto is another case- she was raped and murdered by the son of a police officer who again managed to get away because of a priviledged background. In a country where the father of the nation is deemed an apostle of truth and non-violence and whose professional integrity as a lawyer is unquestionable, such incidents are clearly a blot on his unique legacy.

The Times of India supplement September 17,2006 in an article “Gandhi kaun hai” states that though a majority of Indians still believe in a peaceful way out in settling a dispute, a whopping 64% of Indians and 90% Delhiites believe that Gandhigiri does not work anymore.

The Chairman of Infosys, Mr Narayan Murthy, a man known as much for his integrity as for his numerous achievements in the software Industry admits in the book “Business Gurus speak”, “Since all our operations were outside, we had very few operations here(India) and had no need to bribe anyone. Maybe we would have done it, if forced to by circumstances. Every corporation can take only a limited amount of nuisance; beyond that it becomes very difficult“. One has to admire Mr Murthy’s forthrightness in admitting this.

Speaking from my own experience, the best boss(an outstanding CEO and later very successful businessman) that I worked under told me once that ” I draft a legal agreement with the assumption that the entire world is a cheat.” He said that that is the best way to be safe because practically everybody cheats.

Exactly the same words were mentioned by a lady on NDTV in a program on Karan Johar’s “Kabhi alvida na kehnai” . She was talking in the context of extra marital affairs and said that eveyrbody who thinks that he can get away with it cheats.Cheating is something that has become so common that one is more surprised when it does not happen. A government organization’s “commission” almost trippled over a decade.

It’s an all pervasive culture- some doctors misguide patients for money, some lawyers delay cases deliberately for money, some chartered accountants collude with the taxmen and fleece the client etc. Some teachers force tuitions on their students, one gets to hear corruption by the police now and then and one has even heard of some elements in the media indulging in corruption of a different kind. One wonders how “Gandhigiri” can work with such people . The question very often is “Who polices the police, who educates the educationists, who watches the watchdog, who makes law for the lawmakers etc or to sum up “Who keeps the keeper? They remind you of one of the all time great songs of Hindi Cinema from the movie Amar prem Chingari koi Bhadke(taken from http://www.youtube.com):-

The whole song, which has one of the best lyrics of all times tries to explain that if the people who are responsible for certain duties do the exact opposite, nobody can save you. Not only Gandhigiri but nothing can work in a situation like this. God alone knows what the proportion of such people in the total is- whether they are an exception or the rule? The legal system being perceived as “remedy being worse than the disease“, the common man feels stifled and helpless.

Well known management consultant Arindam Chaudhary uses the words “practically defunct judiciary” and “inefficient and lethargic judicial system on perpetual strike for all practical purposes” in his book “Count your chickens before they hatch”. It sounds like a sweeping statement and one can’t help wondering how far it is true. Not only in the Judiciary but elsewhere, people take their professions for granted. One’s occupation sustains oneself emotionally(for a majority of waking hours)and financially and one should have the highest regard for it.

Contrast this to what is said in Gandhi’s autobiography(those not inclined can skip),
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” As a student, I heard that a lawyer’s profession is a liar’s profession. That did not influence me. I had no intention of earning either position or money by lying.” “I have never resorted to untruth in my profession and since a large part of my legal practice was in the interest of public work, I charged nothing beyond out of the box expenses and that too I met myself”. “The true function of a lawyer is to unite parties driven asunder”.

Gandhiji was practical enough to admit though that “Truthfulness in the practice of a profession cannot cure it of the fundamental defect that vitiates it”

Gandhiji’s views on funds management-” Carefully kept accounts are a sine qua non for every organization. Without them, it falls into disrepute. Without properly kept accounts it is impossible to maintian truth in its pristine purity” . Gandhi always insisted on receipts being given on the amounts paid.

Gandhiji’s views on truthfulness in business- ” I strongly contested my merchant friends views when they said that business was a very practical thing and that pure truth was out of question in business. I reminded tham that their conduct in foreign land is how Iindians would be judged in general.”
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Sometime back, there was another movie called ‘Maine Gandhi ko nahin mara” which stated how Indians remember the father of the nation only during his birth and death anniversaries. The truth is that he and his legacy have been murdered in a variety of ways and there can be a post on each of them. He being a lawyer, apart from “Truth” being explored above, our laws merit some detailed mention:-

In our colony. some people have let out their property to Banks. This causes traffic problems of Herculean proportions. About a week back, I received a call from the security to remove my car. I was surprised as I had parked it in the right place and said so in so many words. A young lady pleaded “You maybe right but I am very late and my children are waiting. Please remove your car and let me go”. She was almost on the verge of tears and I had no alternative but to remove the car. Banks in the immediate neighborhood apart, someone had dumped the construction material nearby(with no fear of the law) which compounded the problem considerably. Traffic is a daily nuisance and it probably takes even the bank customers more time to park the car and go back than the time spent in the bank. What can one do if the laws themselves are idiotic? Why allow any commercial activity in a residential area? The resident welfare association had once closed one gate in desperation as a result of which some people could not back to their own houses after going to the local club and were up in arms. This can have an endless spiral in stupidity but the basic fact remains- why are such stupid laws there in the first place? Some years ago, there was an article in a magazine by the name of “The law is an ass” which gave details of stupid and obsolete laws. Can “Gandhigiri” work in such cases? Indian businesmmen often complain of default in payments. In the United states, anybody can purchase anybody’s credit for a nominal sum and nobody tries to fool around with their credit history as everything runs on credit. Why can’t such laws be introduced here?
There must be donkey number of such cases where people have to face mental and emotional rapes without any hope for justice. It may not be possible for everybody to be as truthful as Gandhiji was but at least we can have sane laws.

I have always admired Gandhiji for his integrity and his sincerity. Some of his views on giving more emphasis to rural India have also proved correct. On the negative side, some of his conduct against the leaders who were against his non-violent policy leaves a lot to be desired. His family also suffered because of some of his obsessions. Forcing “Prohibition”(in Gujarat) on poor gujjus like us some of whom believe in enjoying their drink is actually a farce which is why maximum bootlegging deaths occur in cities like Baroda. Thank god they did not similarly try to impose his views on sex.

In Ganghigiri’s context, no system is infallible and if you need a Gandhi against a Churchill, you need a Churchill against a Hitler. No one strategy works all the time; it is the situation which dictates the leadership style. Lord Krishna himself orchestrated the Mahabharat(epic war) because the situation demanded it. One must mention here that the leadership likely to succeed in the stress filled 21st century -mother and servant leadership is similar to Gandhiji’s style. Gandhigiri maybe back in business not just in reel but in real life as well.

Today(25/9/2006), six days after the original post, I came across an interesting post which stated how Gandhigiri had failed with Pakistan(I had read similar posts after the recent Bombay blasts and some even suggested that we should follow Israel):-

http://o3.indiatimes.com/worldofpickledpolitics/archive/2006/09/24/1711337.aspx

It reminded me of what the Mahatma had said once which I wish I had mentioned earlier. Gandhiji had once specified in the context of the Hindu-Muslim riots ” ‘Ahimsa’ does not imply that when your sisters are getting raped, you standby and do nothing. That is not Ahimsa but cowardliness”. One has to see the situation and then act instead of being overobsessed with any one strategy, whatever it maybe.

Movies like “Lage raho Munnabhai” and “Rang de basanti” are very good symbolisms but some of our problems are too deep rooted and need a surgical operation. These problems cannot be solved by token symbolism no matter how much we eulogize the father of the nation.

I am a firm believer in “Without danger, one cannot go beyond danger”. When things go completely out of control, maybe Gandhi II will emerge from the teeming millions of India once again to our rescue. It is said that the hour produces the man. Till then, while trying to solve our problems and live like “Bapu ke Lal”, we have no option but to suffer like Jessica lall.
This post has an excellent presentation of both podcast and videocast
Remembering the Mahatma
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After I wrote this, while bloging I came across a couple of more websites
Indian legal system
Teachers disgrace

This corroborates what is written earlier. How can Gandhigiri or anything work if people do the opposite of what they are supposed to be doing. One only hopes that such people are in minority.

Kabhi Alvida na kehna, Osho ka kya hai Sochna?

 

We saw Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna today,The movie is a good exploration(by the standards of a typical commercial hindi film) of extra marital relationships. The elaborate sets, the foreign locales, the Jazzzy star cast, the lovely songs, the elaborate song and Dance sequences, the engaging dialogues , the wirtty repartee etc. Some would rate it as Karan Johar’s best movie till date and it would be surprising if it does not turn out to be a super duper hit.

However, one cannot help but wonder about certain things. In his earlier movie, “Kabhi khushi Kabhi gum”, the way the brothers were seperated and united, we were wondering why they were seperated in the first place. In this movie, Abhishek Bachchan(Rishi) is married to Rani Mukherjee(Maya) and Shahrukh Khan(Dev) to Preity Zinta(Rhea). One cannot show too many things in three hours but there did not seem to have any great incompatibility problems that lead to the affair between Rani Mukherjee and Shahrukh Khan. My wife whispered to me,”  Why doesn’t she like Abhishek Bachchan.She is mad or what”. They have tried to show their incompatability but it is not something that could not be resolved. Actually, it seemed that Abhishek and Priety Zinta had far better chemistry and they should have had an affair, if any.

The movie tries to show that where there is marriage without love, there would be love without marriage. Its more like Abhishek telling Rani,” You won’t have a chance with me if you don’t dance( in the party and in bed i.e.show passion) 

I could figure out that on watching Abhishek, meri wife ko “Kuch Kuch hota hai“. I had to be on my guard about my own marriage. Kya pata, “Kal ho na ho ? As it is after ten years of marriage, the evergreen charm of bachelorhood and courtship can hardly be expected. Married life becomes Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gum.

Jokes apart, that’s exactly what I felt about Preity Zinta. Who would drop pretty babe Zinta for Rani Mukherjee. “Jab Preity jaisi  Rani(wife) ho, tau Rani Mukherjee  ko koi bhi muhkar  jai. Dev ko Maya ya kisi aur Devi ki maya rakne ki kya zaroorat thi jabki koi Rishi ka bhi jiya hila deti Rhea.” Dev, yeh kaisi maya hai miya? Tum to experienced ho, Devdas jo reh chuke ho” .  As it is I am of the view that Priety Zinta ke saamne kisi ka chance nahin  hai banta.  Though the movie was good overall, I felt that Salaam Namaste which also dealt somewhat with the issue of compatibility between life partners was a lot cuter and was far more natural without any overdose of melodrama. The only common factor between the two movies is again the naturally cute Preity babe which only corroborates what I have said in the early part of the paragraph. This movie was more like  “Dilwaale dusro ki dulhaniya aur dulhe le jayenge“.

This movie is similar to “Silsila” that came twenty years ago which featured Rekha and Amitabh Bachchan.He had an affair with Rekha in the movie( only?) but could not get her and had to return to his wife. In this movie,as a naughty old man  he seems to be making up for lost time and crosses the Lakshman Rekha and flirts with a bevy of lovely firang ladies. Needless to mention, he carries it off with aplomb along with the serious scenes and die hard fans like me would want to tell the Superstar Emeritus to keep raising bar, to keep crossing even more rekhas where acting skills are concerned. In the movie, he dies in the end but I would like to say- “Please keep acting, Mr Bachchan– Kabhi alvida na Kehna.  This holds true for the father-son duo; their chemistry is fantastic and they really rock together.

Though everybody has acted very well, the movie is over melodramatic in certain phases like Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gum. They have shown the couples parting in what can be deemed a bold end but unnecessarily prolonged the end by making Mukherjee and Shahrukh remaining separated  for another three years for no rhyme or reason and  the railway station scenes in the end were too long and artifically hindi-movie like. For a movie that has a title ,”Kabhi alvida na kehna”, this is a lot of unnecessary and artificial procrastination. It was an endless silsila that they could have done without.

On a more serious note,here are the views of the great revolutionary mystic, Osho Rajhneesh(taken from http://www.barnet.sk/software/sos/osho/osho-talks/seltops.htm) on the subject of marriage per se which are quite relevant in the context of both this movie and that wonderful movie, “Salaam Namaste”What is expressed by Osho seem live solutions and have been expressed in Bold:-

“People go on living in misery thinking that, “Next life I will find another woman — or another husband — but this life nothing can be done. It is better to accept.” So people remain somehow satisfied, whatsoever the situation is, and they call it contentment — it is only consolation. And they have rationalized all these ugly things in many ways.”

Solution no 1- Pre-marital relationships as a gauge of compatibility- This was shown very well in the movie “Salaam Namaste”:-

“Now this is so illogical. Unless a man or a woman has lived in many pre-marital relationships there is no possibility of choosing a right partner. This is such a simple phenomenan! Unless you have experienced many women and men in your life, how can you choose who is going to be the right person to live with? But they don’t allow any pre-marital relationships, so people start falling in love at first sight — which is nonsense. Then, of course, the same people say love is blind. First they throw acid in your eyes and then they say love is blind! You see the strategy? Don’t allow boys and girls to meet and mingle with each other so that they can experience many people before they decide — don’t allow them. Suffocate their sexual energy!

Pre-marital relationship is a very scientific phenomenon. It has to be allowed, it has to become part of human rights. It should be one of the basic rights of every human being to have love relationships before one decides for some intimacy, to live with somebody for a longer period. I will not say for your whole life, because who knows, life is a big thing, but for a longer period. Tomorrow you may find a far more beautiful woman, a far more beautiful man, then your intelligence will say that it is better to choose. Then why go on being tortured by your past? Remain free for the future, open to the future. So I say only for a longer period, when you decide.

When you have enjoyed many relationships you will be able to choose, you will be able to judge what kind of woman or man suits you, what kind of woman or man is a nourishment.

I am all for pre-marital relationships. Without them man will remain insane.”

Soltuion no 2- Extra marital relationships

“And he says he is also against extra-marital relationships. That is a little more complicated, but it has to be understood. That too is one of the latest psychological findings, that extra-marital relationships help marriage, they don’t destroy it. It is always good to have a little change, just at the weekend. It does not harm at all. That idea — that if a man starts having a little love affair with some woman other than his wife it will destroy the marriage — is absolutely wrong. It will help, it will renew the relationship, because one gets tired. Man is, after all, human. Don’t ask impossible things! One gets tired — the same woman, the same man. One loses all taste.

If you have to eat the same food every day, like I do, you will get fed up.

Unless you are enlightened you, extra-marital relationships are good. So please have as many as you can have before you become enlightened, because once you are enlightened I cannot help! Then you are finished.

Once in a while just a little taste of a new woman, a new man revives your interest in the old woman and the old man. You start thinking, “After all, she is not so bad.” A little change is always good.

I am not against extra-marital relationships. The people who are against them are really teaching you possessiveness in an indirect way.

When I say I am not against extra-marital relationships I am teaching you non-possessiveness.

Just see the point: if I talk about non-possessiveness people think, “That’s spiritual, that’s religious — that’s great!” But if I talk about extramarital relationships, the spiritual and the religious are immediately offended.

But I am saying the same thing. Talking about non-possessiveness is abstract, talking about extra-marital relationship is concrete. And you cannot live with abstractions, you have to live with concrete life. And what wrong can it do? If a man is tired of the same woman — the same contours, the same geography, the same topography — once in a while a little bit different geography, a little bit different landscape…and he comes home again interested in exploring the old map. It gives a break — a coffee break. And after each coffee break you can again get involved in the same work, the same files, and you open them and you start working…. The coffee break helps you.

I don’t want people to be interested in impossible ideals. I am not an idealist at all. I am down-to-earth, a pragmatist, a realist.

If people want to live together in a deep intimacy, they should not be possessive. They should allow freedom. And that’s what extra-marital relationship is: freedom. But people are very strange.”

Salaam Namaste was all about pre-martial exploration and Kabhi alvida na Kehna is about extra marital exploration. Osho or for that matter his great contemporary Krishnamurthy were men too ahead of their times and many of their teachings went unimplemented during their lifetimes..

On fhe face of it, what he says does have substance but there is a slip between the cup and the slip and one wonders how practically feasible it is to implement such ideas. One school of thought is that “Expecting perfect compatibility in marriage is like expecting a Utopia and people who keep changing jobs and marriages exchange one type of problems for another do not realize that the problem lies with themselves and not with the external circumstances”. This too is relevant  in some other cases and one should contemplate a change only if there is drastic incompatibility. In my view, teaching practical psychology(management of people) in schools to gauge incompatibilty in advance to the extent possible( the only foolproof way is to live together as shown in Salaam namaste)and also cope better in case of maladustment. This is as important as sex education.

I can sense some naughty opportunisim in the young people who have read Osho’s views but hard facts are that like some of the  books which get banned, this is too radical a change for Indian society to accept en-masse. Osho in his life was revered for some of the fantastic things he said till he started talking about subjects like sex and what is mentioned above. Variety cannot always be the spice of life.

Our society is simply not ready for such explorations. So let me introduce to another exploration.. This has to do with the other major decision of one’s life- the right occupation once again by  Osho, President Abdul Kalam and Shahrukh khan among others  “Kabhi alvida na kehna – Hamesha ke liye alvida kehnaa” – http://mypyp.wordpress.com/2006/08/11/kabhi-alvida-na-kehna-humesha-ke-liye-alvida-kehna/